Thank you for the flowers, roo :) 

You are always filled with the best surprises - thank you for making me feel so special and for choosing to stay with me through it all - despite my bad habit of pushing you away at times.

You want to know the truth Roo - why I’m so scared to be with you? It’s because I’ve come out of two failed long term relationships - and after two consecutive failures you start looking at yourself and blaming yourself. You pick at all your little flaws and examine them and wonder why both times it didn’t work out. To be quite frank - I think I’m not worthy of being loved. This year I was asked on several dates by several guys - I chose to go on none. Instead - I channelled all my energy into my career and it certainly paid off. Because the difference with channeling and investing emotions in my career over love is that it will never fail me.

 I learnt to be alone for the first time in a long time. I’m always used to jumping into relationships and I decided I needed time off from guys… and when you came along -I almost felt like you were too good to be true Roo. We stayed up talking into the early hours of the morning - and it was worth it.

But i’m scared…. scared to fall in love again and scared to be disappointed. I’m tired. Really tired of meeting shitty douche bag guys… I wish I was worthy of someone wanting to be with me - wanting to fight for me. But I learnt that the hard way this year. The only real person I can count on at the end of the day is myself. 

Thanks roo, but I’m still pretty broken. 

I hope you’ll wait for me…. I hope you’ll fight for me. That’s all I want. x